Asking Senses
by Scottea
Summary: Sometimes how one feels and reacts is more important than how one thinks as the commanf crew can attest. I am only playing with Paramount's characters.
1. Chapter 1

James Kirk looked at the empty glass before him and wanted nothing else but another drink so he could forget what was to come. He knew there really was not enough of anything that could make him forget the past. He had been mildly numbed through the hearings and then the summation of the accident. Numbed enough and coherent enough to give clear and articulate answers when asked questions and to follow the flow of the testimonies but it had been a blur. It was his decision, and his decision alone, on the replacements that he had to make that was more than he felt he could face unless he was totally numbed. He had been told, and knew, it was a very rare, and very great honor for any fleet Captain to be given the opportunity of selecting both his new First Officer and his new Science Officer but all he felt was a great hollowness, a devastating aloneness. There was a deep emptiness in him that reached deeper into his being than anything ever had, except for the love, trust, loyalty, and friendship he had had.

After the hearings and the summation they had been taken to a small room to wait to be beamed back to the Enterprise for the night. The young officer who escorted them to the room and reminded Kirk of the honor he was being given, how, in the history of Starfleet, this was only the second time it had happened, and how it had been difficult for the higher echelon to find officers of a high enough caliber to replace his former First Office . The others knew how he had almost told the young man just what he could do with the honor. He was sure if McCoy and the other bridge crew had not been there, had not hurried the young man out, that he would have said, and possibly done things he would have regretted. After the young man had left Kirk had flung the last glass against the door as it closed and Uhura had quickly cleaned it up without comment.

He had heard the voices of the officials but had stopped listening to the words as they meant nothing. It was all about what he already knew. Rules and regulations and his career. It was all about the technological advancement and the proof of the value of more advanced computerization in Starfleet. It was about the risks involved in Starfleet. It was nothing but a glorification of facts they all already knew while avoiding the real fact of the cost of such advancement.

The only fact that mattered at all was that Spock and Officer Darren Harris had been trialing a new shuttle craft and something unexpected had happened to it over the northern plains region of Gnor and only wreckage with evidence that both men had bled there had been found by drones before the wind storms set in and obliterated all other signs of the two men who had died there. Wreckage and blood indicated both aboard had died. No bodies were found but sufficient human and Vulcan blood samples had been taken to make positive identification and, from the images of the site, it was obvious that they would have bled to death. From the images it was clear that neither could have survived the crash. There was also clear evidence of a large pack of the larger carnivores known to roam the area having been at the site.

Part of his mind had been aware of what was being said, but he was still so lost and alone. Most of his mind was reliving the last few days. There had to be a reason, and an explanation there.

Over and over in his mind he kept hearing those words in that baritone voice, "Am encountering unusual navigational computer difficulties." and then that last word, "Jim." before even the static vanished. How excited Spock had been to be selected to trial the latest shuttle, to see how its revolutionary computer system worked. So many others had been just as interested in being the first to pilot and test the shuttle. The testing of the computer system aboard had been offered to Spock who had been keen to see the advances made and Darren Harris had been offered the role as pilot.

Officer Harris was second only to Sulu in piloting a craft but as Sulu had a slight sinus problem he was replaced by Harris. And if losing Spock and Harris were not bad enough Sulu had been briefly confined to quarters for trying to steal another shuttle to go search for them after the official search had been call off.

When he had gone to visit Sulu, the helmsman had looked at him almost defiantly, "Darren would not just quit, Sir. He is a very good pilot, none can equal him when it comes to small craft of any type, but his special field is survival. He would not just quit, Sir. He would have found a way, or died trying to find a way for both of them. They found no bodies, only blood. He would not just quit and he most definitely would not leave Mister Spock or his body. No matter what the regulations say he would not leave Mister Spock. They are out there, Sir. He would fight, he would find a way."

There had been so much certainty and conviction in his younger officer's eyes that instead of saying what he felt he should say, what followed procedures, Kirk just put a hand on the man's shoulder, gave it a squeeze, and nodded. Oddly it was reassuring to see that look and to feel the other officer place his hand on top of his own. "At least they are," he stopped and closed his eyes as again he had that strange sensation he could not define then opened his eyes and half-smiled back at the officer, "together."

"They are out there, Sir. **They are together out there**. Darren would not leave Mister Spock." Kirk had just nodded and left. He knew only too well what it was like to be that certain about a friend but this time, this time he had heard that broadcast, had seen the reality in the display of the crash site. Sulu had been partly right, they were out there.

He felt a bit of a coward as he could not even admit to one of his officers, an officer who knew about how close he and Spock had become, that he had occasionally felt as though Spock was right by him, right in his head. It was not often but came at the strangest times as it had then. As it had in the briefing, as it had when he had talked with McCoy about the dynamics that might have been between Spock and Harris as they were so different.

It had taken some talking but he had managed to get Sulu released from confinement to his quarters to confinement to the base and the ship. This was a time when that special bridge crew needed to be together.

The part pf his mind that was keeping track of the present heard McCoy say, "You gotta know, Jim boy, that Harris was not your routine officer any more than a lot of the crew of the Enterprise. While he and Spock had a lot of differences in how they approached things, and decidedly in their regard for rules and regulations, you gotta know that as a team testing a new shuttle they would be unbeatable. Spock for all the computers and calculation of the most unlikely of possible problems and Harris for actual flight management. I heard it too. Navigational computer problems. No flight problems but trouble with the computer system which we both know would have been impossible with Spock's thorough checking of things."

The computer system. **The computer system**. That had kept haunting him. He was aware, as they others walked him into the briefing room, that he had been lost in thinking about Spock saying _unusual navigational computer difficulties_. Spock was the top computer person in all of Starfleet so how could there have been something wrong with the navigational computer? With the damage to the craft as extensive as it was there would never be a way to know. He had seen the live feed of the wreckage. It seemed so unreal, looked so wrong. There had been the wrecked craft and the two distinct areas of blood.

A cup of coffee had been placed before him and he looked up to see his bridge crew all there looking at him. "Even I could nae face tomorrow if I'd had all you've taken, Sir."

"I'll go get you a light meal, Sir. You should have had something to eat as well as drink."

"You'll need to take these as well," McCoy's voice came from his left side as usual and three tablets were placed in his hand.

"I went over the flight plan again and they were in the right place. They had flown the given route."

"Nobody got near the shuttle who vas not on the list of those with permission."

For a few moments after Uhura had come back with a small meal for him and he had taken the tablets Kirk just sat comforted that his crew, his friends, his family was around him. They would be feeling the pain as well as they were all close to Spock and he knew Uhura, Sulu and McCoy were more familiar with Harris than he had been.

"Spock said it was a navigational computer difficulties. He ruled out pilot error with that statement."

"When I cleared the interference from the copy I received I could hear Darren saying, "It is fighting but am keeping it level, keeping it level, keeping it level." then just after Spock said Jim I heard Darren say, "Down." and I do not know if he meant they were down or he was getting Spock down before the crash. His first reaction would have been in his survival mode and that would be to have gotten Spock down before the crash."

"Aye, but he was such a good pilot he might have been meaning they were down as in landed. It did nae look like a crash to me. More a bomb had gone off just after he got it down."

"But the final security sweep found no explosives, Scotty. Nothing."

The wreckage had looked wrong. Wrong for a crash but what if something happened after that?


	2. Chapter 2

"Who had access to the shuttle?"

"I can nae remember all the names but know they had clearance. I'll get ye the rosters."

Even as he looked at the list of names James Kirk knew they all had clearance and none of them had anything to gain by sabotaging the navigational systems and none of them would have had the skills needed to disrupt the computer system. The only name that even remotely made him pause was Doug Lane. He did not know why but there was something. "Scotty, what do you know about Doug Lane?"

"Ahhh, we had that waste of space on the ship for six months too long. The lad couldn't fight his way out of a cloud of smoke without a detailed map, Sir. Aye, and then he'd need somebody to read it for him, and then take his hand and lead him out. I hear he is due for discharge shortly as he just is just plain useless. Oh, he can use tools if you are there and tell him which one to use and how to do it." The Chief Engineer looked at the list, " Glen Thomas, a real engineer and fine man, would have seen him working, or watched him try to work."

"Uhura,"

"Already contacting Officer Thomas, Sir."

Inwardly Kirk smiled, this crew knew him too well.

"Thomas here, Captain Kirk, sorry to hear about you losing those two officers. How can I help?"

"What work did Doug Lane do on the shuttle?"

"Work is not a word I remotely associate with him, Sir. He basically just sat and watched as he simply does not understand even the very basics of engineering. So much for having a father with influence."

"So you were with him all the time?"

"Most of it, yes. I left him sitting alone for about twenty standard minutes and it looked like, usual, he had not moved. Is there something wrong? I heard it was navigational computer error and we were doing strictly environmental work and not touching the computer. I cannot actually remember him touching anything, he just sat and complained all the time about it being finished and ready."

"Just wanted to check what was done beforehand."

"I understand and I would want to check too, Sir. If you ask me what I saw did not look like wreckage from an impact. Looked more like Harris had it landed or almost landed and there was some sort of internal explosion but there was nothing that could have exploded like that on board nor on the outside of the ship. I did a final sweep of it and found nothing then Lane and I left."

"Thanks for your help, Thomas."

"Anytime, Kirk. Thomas out."

For a moment Kirk sat quietly in the small briefing room thinking over all that had been said. Of all the people to have seen the visual displays of the wreckage only he, Scott, his bridge crew, and Thomas felt certain it had been more than a crash. Most of the others had been shocked at what had happened as that was to have been the new type of shuttle; it was meant to be far superior. He sat with his elbows on the table, his head in his hands, and his eyes shut. It was all too much to take in, it was all too soon, too fast. He had to think.

"I think we all need a good night's sleep." McCoy finally broke the silence, "It is going to be a long day and Starfleet wants us out of here six days after it."

As they said good night and left nobody mentioned what was to come, that they were to have two new crew members to fill Spock's roles. They knew that the way Kirk had told them of the accident and what was to come had not been as direct as the way the decision had been told to him. They had all been there when the Captain had been summoned and only McCoy had been allowed to accompany him to the meeting after the crash.

McCoy waited behind. He was thinking of that meeting as he looked at his friend and captain. Never berfore had he seen his friend so totally withdrawn, so vulnerable, and knew how alone the man would be feeling. Over the years the doctor had seen Kirk deal with many deaths and many addresses from senior officers but this had been so very different in so many ways.

Vividly McCoy remembered where they hd been, how they had been standing and how precise and per regulations they were told. "Captain Kirk, with the death of your First Officer who was also your Science Officer and with the reputation of your bridge crew, it will be necessary for us to find you the best candidates for both positions. Because of the sterling reputation of the Enterprise and in recognition of all you have done for Starfleet we will select the top two officers and you may decide which of them will fill the role best. We will meet again for the selection tomorrow. The Enterprise ships out in six standard days."

Leonard McCoy had looked at his friend and had seen the grief and disbelief there in his stance, on his face, and in his voice when Kirk had simply said, "Yes, Sir." No time for grieving, for dealing with the major change in their lives, just Starfleet moving along and sticking to some preordained timeframe.

Before he had reached out to take Kirk's arm to move him out of the room McCoy had looked at the men and said under his breath, "Bastards." He wanted to say more but Jim Kirk needed him. Kirk knew his duty, knew what he had to do but McCoy could see he was too traumatized to move. It had not been till they were walking down the hall, well away from others that Kirk had suddenly stopped and shook his head and raggedly kept saying, "No, no. no, no, no.". Like a trusting and lost child Kirk had let McCoy hug him for a moment, the let him take him home, had not resisted when McCoy had put him to bed and given him a mild sedative.

Now, just looking at him, knowing how much he was hurting and knowing he could do nothing for his pain, McCoy briefly rested his hand on Kirk's shoulder, "You know where to find me at any time, Jim."

Once he was sure they had all gone Kirk folded his arms, lowered his head and whispered, "Oh Spock, what do I do? What do I do now? What the hell do I do without you? I swear I'll find out what happened. I'll find out what happened. I'll find out who did this to you." Again there was that uncanny feeling that Spock was there, just to his right as usual but in his head, calming him. That feeling was still there when he woke up six point eight hours later.

It was early in the morning when Kirk walked into Sickbay surprised to see McCoy in his office just looking at a screen with a puzzled look.

"Oh, Jim. What can I do for you?"

"Keep getting a strange headache and before you ask it is not the alcohol."

"Get any sleep?" McCoy got up and got him some tablets.

"About six hours at the table but I just can't seem to make sense of it, Bones. Looks like you had a problem as well."

"Just looking over the list of things Harris took in what he always called his In Case Case. He always had the standard pack but also had that other case. He would have made a great doctor as he was over prepared for all sorts of emergencies. When he knew he was going with Spock he came in and asked if there was anything special he should take and oddly asked me for an extra pack of copper tablets. I told him that he did not need a whole pack but he gave me that look and said, "If anything should happen I would need the copper to help Mister Spock." There was something about the way McCoy was looking at the screen that bothered Kirk.

"Bones?"

"I don't know, Jim. Is it wrong for me to hope that he died first? If he didn't he would have died trying to find some way to save Spock even at the cost of his own life. He was brought in here so many times because of that trait."

"If I remember a few of those time was because of either Spock or myself and a few times both of us."

"The damned fool would try to get back to duty too soon but I could pull rank and had you as backup on that." McCoy turned off the screen, closed his eyes and shook his head, "Last thing I said to him as he left here was not do anything fool-hearty this time."

"Last thing I said to Spock was about our planned game of chess: that I was going to show him how to really play chess." When McCoy didn't look up Kirk said, "Sulu said something that made me feel a little better."

"Oh?" McCoy looked up.

"He said they were together. That they were out there but they were together."

"So he's accepted it?"

"No, not really as he kept saying _are_, using the present. Guess he is like the rest of us, not ready to accept it."

"Hate to change the subject but what time is the selection hearing?"

"Got another hour. I should go get ready, need to get my list of questions I left in my quarters."

"We are not **him**, Jim, but we'll be there with and for you." A hand rested on his shoulder and steady blue eyes looked at him, "You just know that, Jim. You are not going through this alone."

Alone. That was how Kirk felt. While he was surrounded by his friends he felt so totally alone.


	3. Chapter 3

On the way to the hearing Kirk walked by several groups of officers from the base and other ships waiting to enter the hall. He was passing a group of three when he heard one say, "Never do a favor for him. He'll treat you like an equal for a bit, ask you do something for him, you forget one minor thing, and then you are back to being lower than a nothing. Don't do him any favors." He half-smiled, he was most decidedly in no mood to do any favors for anybody.

When he had walked into the main hall where the selection was to be made he was aware of his five senior officers, his five friends, around him, as though protecting him. Sulu and Uhura were in front of him, McCoy at his left side, Scotty on his right side, and Chekov behind him. There was not way anybody was going to get close to him. He knew some other crew from the Enterprise had come in behind them and he felt pleased about that but he still was feeling empty. There was a piece of him missing.

"As Captain Kirk has already been advised, there will be no replacement for Officer Darren Harris at this time as there is no officer of equal experience and training to fulfill his position in Starfleet and most likely not even in the Federation.. Captain Kirk has been advised of this and provision will be made for the existing crew on Enterprise to execute the duties position till a replacement is found. Officer Darren Harris was Starfleet's best officer in rescue and survival under all conditions, a fact he had proven many times since he first entered the Academy. He was also the finest at test flying small craft, often exceeding what were stated safety limits and thus improving not only the technology but also the engineering of our smaller craft. It has to be noted that he was, at times, most original in his methods in both fields but his success rates remain unsurpassed. Our thoughts are with his fellow crewmembers.

"We now move on to the selection hearing for a new Science Officer and a new First Officer. It is usually at the discretion of Starfleet as to appointment of senior crew but because of the outstanding relationship that existed between Captain Kirk and Mister Spock, and indeed most of his senior crew as evidenced by their presence here today, we felt it should his decision as to who would fit in best. We know that the command crew of the Enterprise maintains the highest of standards which keep it Starfleet's finest starship so it is only fitting that they be present but they are reminded that it will be Captain Kirk's decision alone that decides.

"We felt it best for the First Officer to be selected first so that he and Captain Kirk can discuss the merits of the officer who will be the Science Officer. The first officer up for consideration as your new First Officer is Officer Wayne Fullon. He has one standard hour in which to present his case."

A young looking officer stood at the rostrum, "I cannot tell you what an honour it is to be able to tell you of my qualifications for this position and what I would bring to the Enterprise. As I am not sure if you would have had time to review my record I will, as is my right, go through it as it shows how qualified I am for,"

Several times Kirk had found he had to calm himself as Spock's abilities were questioned by the officer who pointed out how he would do things. The morning break could hardly have come soon enough for Kirk. The careers of two of his officers so openly discussed without them present to defend their actions.

The few times Kirk tried to listen to the officer all he heard were empty words espousing his own career so far. It all meant nothing. Twice McCoy had lightly nudged him to try to keep him looking as though he were paying attention and Kirk was thankful for that. He was certain the others would have listened more intently to what the man said and would be able to give him their assessments which would be good enough for him.

The officer they had left the communicators with rushed in, "Excuse me but is there anybody here with who might be called Skylark? They have an urgent communication,"

Uhura let out a small cry and grabbed Kirk's arms, looking at him in both relief and shock, "It's Darren." then turned, "That's, that's me. Where, where's my communicator?"

She all but tore the proffered one from the officer's hand as the other bridge crew gathered around her, Kirk could tell they all feared that she was cracking under the strain as she and Darren Harris had been very close friends, "Oh, oh. This, this is Skylark."

It was a barely audible transmission, "Hail to thee, my blithe spirit."

"Cried the raven evermore."

"Good. Listen to me. Say nothing, Skylark. We don't need words, never did. Mine is yours. Cu's cocooned. Trance. Proof. Lock on cords.. Cu's cocooned. Trance. Proof. Lock on cords." Kirk could tell from her face before she gave the slight nod that it was somehow Darren Harris and he looked at the others before standing to address the bench.

"Sirs, obviously an emergency has arisen for my crew. Could we be granted a recess?"

"How long would you require, Kirk?"

Quickly he looked at Sulu who flashed three fingers, "My crew would need three hours."

"**They** have four hours but **you** will remain here, Kirk, as this hearing does not need your bridge crew. The matter at hand involves the replacement of your First Officer and the redeployment of the Enterprise. We will take a thirty standard minute break and return to the matter. When we return we will read out the expectations and duties of a First Officer and then we will finish hearing Officer Wayne Fullon's statements as to why he would be the best fit on the Enterprise. When he has finished you, and you alone, Captain Kirk, may ask questions. You may discuss those questoins first with the crew from the Enterprise who are present but you will ask them. We are holding these proceedings only because of the high standards set by your former First Officer and the exceptional crew of the Enterprise. While the decision will be yours, Kirk, you may confer with your senior officers present as to their opinions."

"Thank you, Sirs." still seeing the look on Uhura's face he gently put a hand on hers and touched the communicator before she snatched it closer to her and looked at him for the first time before holding it out slightly so they all heard the repeated, "Cu's cocooned. Trance. Proof. Lock on cords. Cu's cocooned. Trance. Proof. Lock on cords."

A hand gripped Kirk's shoulder, "Jim, Cu is copper. A healing trance?" Kirk looked up into two blue eyes and saw a flicker of hope, a clear reflection of what he was feeling.

"He's keeping the signal open, Sir. He's in a chant. He's keeping it open so we can get their coordinates." when Kirk looked at the helmsman he saw the same hope. The more Kirk listened to the words the more he had hope and the more he realized Sulu was right, it was almost a chant.

"I know of a wee craft we can use."

Before he had time to voice an opinion McCoy said, "I'll go with Scotty and Sulu. You'll have Chekov to help with,"

Kirk nodded, "You're needed there, Bones. Go."

It was only after they had gone that Kirk remembered the officer who had been speaking. Trying to look as though he really cared Kirk had looked at the young officer, "I am sorry about the interruption. Please continue. We will discuss your statements when we adjourn for a meal break."

"Thank you, Sir. I will finish by saying that my qualifications and achievements surely attest to my being the best qualified to be your First Officer. I am fully cognizant that I will never measure up to the standards set by Mister Spock as your First Officer but I am the best non-Vulcan officer for the role."

"Thank you, Officer Fullon. As Captain Kirk said, we will adjourn now for forty standard minutes for a meal break and then hear from the second officer."

Once the panel had left the room Kirk helped Chekov walk Uhura to a small mess and got them all a light meal and coffee. He noted that Uhura still clutched the communicator to her and understood what she would be feeling. He knew what he would be feeling if it had been Spock repeating those words. As he sat eating he felt he understood a bit better what Spock lived with as part of his mind kept telling him it was impossible for them to be alive while another part kept telling him that Darren Harris had found a way to save Spock. Logic fighting emotion. Kirk shook his head, helluva way to live.

Kirk looked at Uhura, "Blithe spirit?"

"Years ago he bought me a very rare and expensive book of old Earth poetry and we picked out poems we thought suited each other to do with different things. For birds I picked a raven as they are always on the watch and he picked one on a skylark for me as he said with my optimistic and cheerful spirit he saw me soaring high and free."

"A very different code." Chekov looked at Uhura, "I see you also as one who vould vant to always be free. He says a lot with a little."

"He's like that. Quiet but when he talks it is for a reason. Oh, he can easily make polite conversation and have lengthy and intelligent discussions about the most unusual and the most common things but he often talks in a very abbreviated way." She smiled at the two of them, "I remember one shore leave we talked only in rhyming words and on another it was all abbreviations. If anybody had tried to understand us," she shook her head, "we knew what the other was saying and that was all that mattered."

"Have you known him long?"


	4. Chapter 4

Uhura looked at Kirk and smiled, "Met shortly out of the Academy. I was having a hard time with being accepted by a lot of the males on the ship and one night when we were on shore leave for three days four of the ones who seemed to have the biggest problem with me being the same ranking as them singled me out and caught me that first night. I won't go into the details but they were dishonorably discharged from Starfleet and Darren and I became good friends."

"He," Chekov started but Uhura looked at him.

"He was out running through the park and came across what they were doing to me. He, he stopped them from what they wanted to do, no male ever bothered me again, and we never have talked about that night since. I think it was the only time I have ever been terrified of my fellow crew members, the only time I felt so totally helpless, and yet it was also the first time I had felt totally safe and protected by a fellow crew member I had only really just seen aboard. Although they did not rape me I thought I would never feel clean or safe again. For the next two days we stayed in the unit he had taken me to and he helped me reclaim myself." she looked at Kirk, "He just held me and let me cry, talk, scream," she smiled, "and even physically lash out at somebody. When we returned to the ship the matter had been dealt with and as that time with Darren had helped me heal there was no mention of it on my records. Back on the ship everything was as it had been before."

Both Kirk and Chekov could tell for how spoke that the incident truly was in the past and that there was something special between them. Uhura looked at them both, "He transferred off about a year later and it was not till I was transferred to the Enterprise that we caught up in person again. Since that night, those nights, I have often thought of him as the other half of me. We had such very different experiences from childhood, our fields are vastly dissimilar, we have differing beliefs, and yet over the years a deep connection has grown between us that I cannot explain. It has never been sexual as what we have transcends that, it is more meaningful and powerful than carnal attraction, it is beyond comprehension, price and description and yet it is so very real." For a moment Uhura looked steadily at Kirk and he gave a slight nod, knowing what she had with Darren Harris was so like what he and Spock had. "**I knew,** if he could, he would find a way to contact me."

Even as they had been talking Kirk was sure that they were all half-listening to the repeated, "Cu's cocooned. Trance. Proof. Lock on cords." and Kirk realized Sulu had been right, Harris was almost chanting. He also wondered if either Uhura or Chekov had noticed how the breathing was becoming more strained, the words more separated. The one thing he was certain about at that moment was he wanted to be with Uhura when that voice stopped. It was clear that they were quite possibly listening to the last words of Harris and while he had known Uhura was on friendly terms with him, had often seen them together on and off the ship, he had never realized the depth of the friendship.

Some of the regular crew walked over and started giving their thoughts and opinions on Officer Fullon, many admitting that it would take them some time to get used to both a new First Officer and a new Scoence Officer but they could not see Fallon as fitting in. A few commented on what they had picked up on, small and different things, that did not seem to fit in with things on the ship. Kirk just sat and listened to them all and realized that none of them felt good about the man. It was becoming more apparent with each one who spoke that they were comparing the officer with Spock and Kirk found he was doing that as well. How could anybody compare to Spock?

The three of them sat for a moment, that voice now very faint on the communicator but still there and Kirk could see that Uhura now accepted that she could be listening to her friend dying. "I could work with him but it would be difficult if that is reflective of his ego." she smiled at him, "The Enterprise is not big enough for an ego that sized."

"He said nothing about facing the unknown or how he reacts to so many things we deal with." Chekov shook his head, "Nothing about how long he has served on starships."

Kirk reflected on what the crew had said and his own feelings from watching and partly listening to the man and realized he was not interested in the officer. There was an oddly safe feeling that this was all unnecessary at the back of his mind but he knew that was a very small possibility and he had to accept it. There was also the way the man had started with too much about qualifications. None of his officers talked so much about being qualified, about qualifications, they just did their jobs and were damn good at it. An emergency like they faced many times was what showed an officer could do, what they knew and could apply. That showed if they were really qualified to be on a starship.

As a group they walked in with Kirk leading them with Chekov and Uhura behind him. They got seated and Kirk gave Uhura a smile as she sat with the communicator set so he could hear the, "Cu's cocooned. Trance. Proof. Lock on cords."

The panel walked in and the spokesman said, "Officer Warren Tuntor will now present his case for the position of First Officer."

Officer Tuntor walked so confidently up to the podium and looked around the room and nodded. Kirk got the immediate impression of a man who knew he was the centre of attention and had an air of great confidence almost bordering on ego. "The role of First Officer on the Enterprise is mine. I have the top qualifications from the academy in all the necessary fields and the experience that such a role demands. While Mister Spock was good at his position he was lucky to have that position. Lucky in that he was accepted as our relationships with Vulcan more or less gave it to him. While it is a loss that he is dead it has to be faced that Kirk is far better off with that half-breed dead. Let's face it, could a half-breed really be trusted not to side with a non-human? Sure, he did a great job but he was a half-breed and you just cannot be too sure of them. Just look how it is here with not one word of protest about there not being a more thorough search for the bodies. Not one of the crew really cares about a half-breed,"

Only the firm grip on his shoulder from behind him stopped Kirk from reacting as he wanted to. Quickly he pulled the communicator from Uhura's hands, turned up the magnification and volume, so all there heard Harris trying to speak. He turned it down and looked at the officer, "That is Officer Darren Harris. Cu is copper. Vulcan's have copper-based blood. He is with Mister Spock who is in a Vulcan healing trance. He has some sort of proof as to what caused the crash. He is keeping the channel open and working so we can find them."

"Sir, with all due respect, you saw the crash site. There was no way they could have survived. The craft was destroyed on impact. They are both dead and I will be your new First Officer. Somebody is playing a very bad trick on you and your crew."

Again Kirk turned up the magnification and volume of the communicator and a strained voice kept repeating, "Cu's cocooned. Trance. Proof. Lock on cords." Then turned down the volume and looked at the man, "My Communications Officer identified that as Officer Darren Fullon. If you had looked at his records you would know he is not only highly rated at piloting small craft but is Starfleet's best in survival skills. Somehow they are alive and have proof as to what caused the crash."

Kirk had been watching the man's face and had seen a slight twitch when he mentioned proof. "By following the rules and regulations he found proof of what caused the incident and has that with them. When they are found they will be able to tell us what happened and we will have the proof."

The man looked away then back at Kirk, "We know they are dead. Like I said somebody is obviously playing a very bad trick on you, Sir. They had made a recording and have it set on repeat."

"You and I know **it is not on repeat**. Anybody else here who is listening can hear the change in his breathing." Kirk saw the slight nervous eye movement, "We will find them. Officer Harris might very well be dead before we get to them but we will soon have a lock have their coordinates. We will soon know where they and the truth to what happened are."

"And how many of your crew really, deep down really, like the thought of working with the half-breed again? How many of them like having him as a senior officer when his sort are inferior?" the man kept looking at Kirk and Kirk could sense his deep dislike of Spock, "You think your crew will still want a half-breed back onboard when they could have somebody they could always trust? How many would trust their life to a half-breed? It is known that a half,"

"You vill not call Mister Spock that again!"

**"Chekov! No!"**


	5. Chapter 5

Kirk turned but was too slow to stop Chekov as he launched himself at the officer and knocked him down, only to reach down and start to pull him off the floor with a hold on his shirt twisted about his throat, "**Cossack**! To even call you that is an insult to all Cossacks living, yet to be born, and dead! You vill never be a hundredth of the officer Mister Spock is and never be a millionth of the man he is." Kirk could not recall ever hearing such loathing in his young officer's voice before nor seen him so threatening. He, and he knew all the others, saw it, saw the way Chekov looked at Officer Tuntor and so calmly said, "If I find out you did this to him you vill have to sleep vith both your eyes open and a fully-charged phaser **set on kill** in your hand for the rest of your life." Then, as though nothing had happened, Chekov released him, letting him fall to the ground, and walked back to his seat, taking hold of Uhura's proffered hand as he sat.

At first there was a stunned silence and then Kirk heard applause, coming first from the senior panel then the whole room erupted in applause. Once calm was restored the chairman looked at Chekov and then at Kirk, "I do hope you will later **reprimand** your officer appropriately, Captain Kirk."

"Yes, Sir, I will see he is appropriately reprimanded for,"

"**Jim**? Jim can you hear me? **Jim**?" McCoy's voice came from the communicator and Kirk grabbed at it like a lifeline.

"Yes. Bones."

"They **are alive**. **They are both alive**. Spock is badly injured but is in a healing trance."

"Harris?"

"Not good. I don't understand the readings I'm getting on him. Will let you know when we return. Sulu says thirty-two standard minutes and I'll need a full emergency room at the ready as I'm having some real trouble with Harris. Get M'Benga there so he can check on Spock for me and have him get up all of Harris's records for me. Oh, Scotty said to tell you there is proof."

For a moment all in the room could hear was Uhura softly crying as Chekov held her. Just for a moment Kirk turned and went to her, put a hand on her shoulder and felt her shaking. She had been too close to hearing her friend die and he wanted her to know she was not alone and that they all understood and were with her. She gave a quick nod and sat back up, once again that total professional Kirk had relied on so many times.

Slowly Kirk put down the communicator on the table he had been sitting behind and walked slowly up to the officer who still stood looking a bit shaken. First he looked at the panel of senior officers then at his crew, pleased to see some other officers were now around Uhura.

Calmly he turn and looked at the officer, "You were saying how not one of my crew wanted to go out looking for Officer Darren Harris and Mister Spock after just the wreckage was found."

"That officer was unfortunate to have to been assigned to be with him. I mean how many of the rest of your crew really, deep down really, like to work with him?"

Struggling to maintain his control he turned and looked at the gathering, "Crew representatives of the Enterprise, do not think of me as the Captain, think only about your true feelings and what you believe those of your fellow officers to be. If you have, and believe the others have, no objection at all of working with Mister Spock stand up." All of them, along with Uhura, Chekov, stood. "Now those who would have no problem working one-on-one with Mister Spock remain standing." Not one member sat down. "If you dislike, or you know of any of the crew who dislikes, having Mister Spock as a senior officer, sit." Again nobody moved.

The chairman looked at Kirk, "May I continue?"

"Certainly, Sir. My apologies for,"

"No apologies necessary, Kirk. You were being the Captain Kirk we all know about, the one who exemplifies the best of the Fleet. You were defending two of your officers who were being defamed in their absence." The Chairman then looked at the officer who was clearly shaken. "Security will escort you to your new home for the coming months till a full investigation as to the causes of the crash is finished. The way you have acted since the accident and more importantly since that message was first received has raised many questions about your possible involvement. There is also the matter of your openly hostile xenophobic reactions and statements which bring into question your suitability for starship placement. We will keep you on this base until all related matters are investigated including the possibility of charges for destruction of Starfleet and Federation property and two charges of attempted murder or murder. As this is a panel regarding firsts you will also, if found responsible, be the first officer made to pay for the cost of the investigation and compensation to the two officers, the amount to be decided, or their dependants."

"If I may, Sirs, I would like to be elsewhere awaiting arrival,"

"Of course, Kirk. This hearing is in recess until full medical reports on Mister Spock's and Officer Harris's status are known."

While he had been talking he had heard Chekov arrange for Doctor M'Benga to be at the base hospital.

As they rushed out they saw the shuttle arriving and heard the ground crew yelling out, "What the hell is he doing?" as Sulu landed it not in the designated spot but as close to the entrance to the medical facility as he could get. Racing to follow the two gurnies Kirk was annoyed when two security guards blocked him saying, "Doctor McCoy's orders. Said none of you were to go in. Go join the other two over in that room."

When they walked in Uhura was hugged by Sulu and Scotty before Scotty very slowly walked over to Kirk and held out three jagged pieces of metal. Nothing was said for a moment as Kirk looked down at the metal in his hands then looked from them to his Chief Engineer, "Explosion."

"Aye. If Mister Spock had been sitting where he was to be when that went off,"

"Then how,"

"The impact of a landing would have knocked off any loose panel. Ta get to the computer yy must remove a panel. Only a fool would nae have secured it after setting the bomb in there." Kirk handed the metal back to Scotty as he suddenly remembered what he had heard that man saying about not doing any favors for them and could remember what the man he said it to looked like.

"Here." Sulu handed him a cup of coffee and indicated they move away from Uhura. "Mister Spock has some injuries but Doctor McCoy said they were no longer life-threatening which is why he wanted Doctor M'Benga to just check on him. He said it seems Mister Spock had at least one blood transfusion but that that was impossible. There are medical readings to do with Darren that Doctor McCoy said were impossible, plus he has suffered extremely severe blood loss and damage to all of his internal organs. Does not look good for him. Had a moment of awareness and asked about Spock."

"He was conscious enough to ask how Spock was?"

Sulu shook his head, "Just looked at me then Doctor McCoy and said 'Spock' in the way of a question."

'What did McCoy say?"

"You know the Doctor, Sir. He told him he would tell him later, to rest."

When M'Benga and McCoy finally walked into the room McCoy walked over to Kirk first and put a hand on his shoulder, "Go see Spock, Jim. Third door on the left. He had a brief moment of awareness and asked for you. If he asks tell him I am with Harris and you do not know his condition. The nurse will give him the intravenous sedation after you two have talked."

**"Sedation?"**


	6. Chapter 6

"He actually said he would find it of assistance," McCoy rocked briefly on his heels, "He said the transfusions seem to have temporarily upset his metabolism. Tests indicate that as well but it is temporary. He actually admitted sedation would be beneficial. I need a drink but will have a coffee."

"Harris?"

McCoy lowered his voice, "Not here, not now."

Uhura stood and looked at McCoy, "How is Darren?"

"I will keep him heavily sedated for forty-eight hours; he will be getting a series of transfusions, and is severely hypothermic." He walked over to the Communications Officer and took her hands in his and looked directly at her, "He is a fighter, Uhura. It is too early to really know. You go get some sleep. If anything happens I will have you sent for."

"I want,"

Kirk looked at her, "Uhura, do not make me make it an order. I will stay here with them and if anything happens you will know immediately."

"You'll be with Darren as well as Spock?"

"Promise."

"Can I, can I just see him?"

McCoy took her hand, "A quick kiss?" Uhura nodded, "Okay and then you go get sleep."

They were only gone a very short time and when they came out Uhura gave McCoy a quick kiss, "Thank you, I will be in tomorrow morning to see him."

"Like I said he will not know you are there."

"He might not know, Doctor, **but I will**."

Quietly Kirk walked into the room McCoy had Spock in and was not fully ready for seeing him so pale with so many dark green patches. He looked so totally helpless. Carefully Kirk picked up a long-fingered hand as he sat down. When he gave the hand a light squeeze he could not help taking a deep breath when he got a weak squeeze back then he saw the eyes open.

"Spock."

"Jim." for a moment that was all said aloud but they had a long conversation only they heard, often punctuated with just the slightest gripping of hands. Finally Spock said, "Harris, too many pills. Too many pills. Blood."

Just for a moment Kirk was sure his friend was confused then he remembered McCoy talking about the copper pills. The way McCoy said Harris had said in case I need them for him. As impossible as it seemed, sounded, Kirk looked at his friend, "Did, did he give you a blood transfusion?"

"More, I remember. I am attempting to put the incident into order. I remember he said he had to, to give blood. Pills. There was too much blood. Harris?"

Kirk nodded at the nurse and she injected the sedative into the intravenous tube of green blood. "I'll go see him. You get some sleep. I will be right back and just sit with you."

"Jim. Tell him, tell him I," sleep claimed his friend and Kirk was grateful as he did not want to tell Spock that McCoy had Harris in a drug induced coma.

As he walked along the corridor he had thought of what Spock had just said and knew he had to be confused as it was impossible for Harris to have given him a blood transfusion. Iron based blood could not be transferred into a copper based blood. What also puzzled him was seeing a security officer from the Enterprise sitting outside the room. The officer stood as he approached, "Doctor McCoy's orders, Sir. You can go in."

It seemed odd but Kirk nodded. No doubt McCoy would explain something so strange later. All the times he had been in hospital rooms to see wounded officer had not prepared him for what lay on the bed before him. Just for a moment, after first seeing Harris, did Kirk pause and close his eyes then opened them as a hand lightly touched his shoulder. Eight tubes were going into his officer's body, not counting the tube in his mouth, the tube in his nose, or the tubes coming from under the small sheet over his pelvic area. His skin was mottled, light green, blotched yellow areas, so pale blue, and only about a quarter of what he could see appeared normal. There was a bank of monitors he did not fully understand, but saw the register for pain was at the maximum level.

The hand on his shoulder lightly patted him, "He's in for a very, very long and almost unimaginably tough if not impossible fight, Jim."

"Spock seems to think he gave him some blood transfusions but," even before he finished he saw the answer in the blue eyes. "How?"

"I had heard that there had been tests where some humans did, after they took almost fatal levels of copper with Waleton, a risky drug at best to use with anything else, give very small emergency transfusions to Vulcanoids but they were stopped as not only was the amount insignificant but it proved fatal to both donor and recipient. With Spock having the human factors others needed from Waleton Harris, taking massive doses of copper, could have risked giving a small amount of blood to Spock. From the injuries Spock sustained he would have lost a lot of blood and without some massive transfusions he would be dead. Somehow Harris is holding on."

"Holding on or being held on?"

"Despite what you see he is fighting to hold on. I'm flushing out every system in his body. His brain scans are a little worrying but the damage to all his internal organs plus the strain on his muscles are what concern me the most right now and what would be showing on the brain scans. He took the whole thirty pills in two days. Fifteen times the limit for that period of time."

"Strain on his muscles?"

McCoy pointed to deep cuts in his patient's shoulders and across his chest, "He obviously made a harness and pulled Spock eleven kilometres from the site to a small cave. Had Spock splinted in what he had scavenged from the wreck. He sustained a lot of spinal damage as he used his body to block out the wind." For a moment McCoy looked at him and Kirk could see the deep hurt in his Chief Medical Officer, "We, you and I, have a problem in that we cannot tell Spock what he did. We cannot tell him what that fool did to make the transfusions,"

"Transfusions? How many?"

McCoy gently lifted both of Harris's arms and Kirk saw four large patches of dermaskin, "At least four and the tubing used would have meant they were substantial transfusions, which Spock would have needed."

"He knows, Bones. He kept saying too many pills."

"**He cannot know** how many, Jim. He would know the damage so many could do and you know how he would blame him- "

A buzzer went off and they both turned to see Darren obviously having difficulty and McCoy rushed over, "**Damn**, not again. Help me get the tube from his mouth and hold him on his side, **now dammit**!" Kirk and three nurses rushed to help him, Kirk gently holding his officer on his side while the nurses helped McCoy take care of the other tubes. Bloody froth came out of Darren's mouth and McCoy nodded. "Good, old blood. Iron based. Just relax, Darren. Just relax. I'll leave the tube out for now. You just relax, just relax. It's McCoy from the Enterprise. You are back home. Spock's safe. You can relax now. That's it, relax. Okay, help me ease him back on his back." For a moment McCoy just stood watching the monitors and Kirk saw how the doctor was holding Harris's wrist, the old way of taking a pulse then placed his hand on Harris's forehead and raked his fingers through the light brown hair, "You just rest, Darren. I'm going to put a light blanket on you. You just rest. I'll be close by."

"Bones?"

"That's his respiratory system finally cleared so he is breathing on his own. He is still having major circulatory and digestive difficulty and his other systems are still in extreme flux between copper and iron based matters. I had read about these being part of what was in those tests but experiencing it is different, difficult. Also with this being a larger amount of blood and him living longer than the others who it had been tried on. For now he is with us and fighting."

"But he will be,"

"One breath at a time, Jim, one breath at a time. I have read that most of the others who did this adhered to the set strict guidelines and gave only the small amount specified. Most of them after giving considerably less than he must have suddenly went downhill and died within three standard hours with total organ failure. He's been fighting possibly since just after the crash." McCoy moved away from the bed and lowered his voice, "I think the one thing that has kept him fighting that the others did not have was a relationship with the recipient and not knowing Spock is going to be just fine is why he is fighting. I told him I would let him know how Spock was but all the medication has him confused enough not to realize I have not told him. I have given orders that Spock is not to be told."

"Bones, if he is in a coma there is no need to,"

"I am not sure what I am dealing with here so do not know what he is and is not really aware of."

"Mind telling me about security out there?"

"Once the doctors and scientists here heard he had done a blood transfusion to a Vulcan they thought they could waltz in there and take blood and tissue samples from him as they pleased. They thought they could use him like some experiment. They were starting to take biopsies and blood without his or my permission. He's in enough pain without having that done to him."

"Bones, surely if it is that unusual and they can learn from,"

**"Are you mad?"**


	7. Chapter 7

McCoy's quick and near challenging reaction surprised him, "Bones, all I am saying is that,"

"**That man is my patient, Captain."** McCoy pointed at the form on the bed and Kirk saw the only just controlled anger in the blue eyes looking into him. "**Last I knew he was one of your crew members.** Now **he might have done** something damned fool-hearty and of scientific, especially medical science, interest but what he did** saved the life of one of my closest and dearest friends**. Perhaps that **means nothing to you** but with me **nobody, but nobody,** does what they were doing to somebody I owe so much to and the fact **he is my patient** only adds to the need for security. To hell with the fact he also broke so many rules and regulations doing what he did to **save Spock**, **he is my patient** and I'll be damned if they are going to walk in here and treat him like some common specimen. If they think they are going to cause him any more distress and pain,"

"I understand now, Bones." He could see that McCoy was infuriated by what had happened. Kirk knew only too well of McCoy's protective nature toward his patients. In truth he also felt anger at what they were doing to one of his crew but his main concern was for his Fist Officer and friend. "If you and the staff do not mind I think I will spend a few hours in with Spock."

"Going to check back in on Harris as well?"

"I need to be here for Spock."

"And Harris?"

"I told Uhura I would be with him as well and I told Spock I would see him."

"There's a spare bunk just by Spock's room. I expect you to use it at some stage tonight."

"What about you?"

McCoy pulled a chair up to the bed and took hold of one of his patient's hands and looked at Kirk, "I'll be right here all night unless something comes up with Spock, which is not likely at this stage. Harris got him through the worst. Now it is Harris who needs the most watching. If he does have even the briefest of conscious moments I want him to know he is not alone and that those, those excuses for doctors are not going to get near him."

"If there's any,"

"I'll let you know how he is. Now go see Spock and get some sleep."

Spock was still sleeping when he walked in and Kirk sat beside the bed just holding his hand, letting him know he was not alone. So many times before he had thought he had lost Spock but never before like this. Seeing the proof, hearing all the experts, knowing the facts. There had been that voice in his head and, oddly, the way Sulu believed they were alive. _They are._ **_They were._** He rested his head on Spock's hand after lightly kissing it. How close he had come to never holding that hand again. Carefully he reached out and lightly brushed the silken black hair into its usual layout then lay with his head on Spock's hand just looking at his friend.

A movement under his head woke Kirk and he looked up to see two dark eyes looking at him and a smile, faint enough for only him to see on the Vulcan face, "Jim, I apologize for waking you but I would like to use my hand as I have an itch."

"Oh, let me get it."

"Right shoulder blade. It is a strange form of itch."

Kirk looked and picked up a small piece of strapping that he could not place yet knew he had seen the fiber before and handed it to Spock, "That it?" .

"His outer slacks. Made braces with wreckage. Tied with that."

"Better?"

"Thank you. I could not accurately access what was causing such an unusual itching sensation. How is Harris?"

"Bones says he has a rough fight ahead."

"For what reason?"

"He somehow poisoned all his systems."

"The pills. He took some pills waited perhaps seven point four minutes and then gave me a transfusion. I remember him doing it twice. I have remembered the whole incident, Jim. At least all of it till the crash and then only random moments. How many pills did McCoy say he took?"

"Look, maybe you should talk to McCoy about this,"

"We both know McCoy would not be as honest as you, Jim. He would tell me it was patient confidentially. I need to know, Jim."

"Spock, you need to rest a bit more."

"No, Jim, **I need to know**." For a moment the Vulcan was quiet then looked steadily at him, "I remember most of it. The craft was responding well. It was meeting the expectations of the designers. Then there was a momentary flicker which was unexpected on the screen before the main onboard computer and the navigational computer started to give conflicting data. I was aware of Harris fighting to maintain level flight. There was a level clearing we both saw. I was attempting to rectify the computers when we lost all power. I remember a near perfect landing. He got us down. There was a slight bump, a panel fell and I saw an explosive, he pushed me down, there was a flash, an explosion, pain, and then just random events after that. Him packing rags and material around me, the sensation of being pulled, him taking pills and then putting a tube in my arm, a cave, him taking more pills and a tube in my arm again. Then Mister Scott and McCoy then here." A long-fingered hand gripped his and Kirk looked at his friend, "I have to know, Jim. **I have to know**."

Hating being the one to tell his sensitive friend the truth yet knowing how he did have to know Kirk looked at him, steadily in the eyes, "There are indications he gave you four transfusions."

"But the blood would be," the Vulcan closed his eyes and Kirk knew his mind would be doing the calculations, "The pills. What were they?"

"Spock, you just rest and talk with McCoy later."

"Jim, am I correct in thinking they were copper supplements?"

"Yes."

"How many did he take?"

"You'll have to ask McCoy."

"To be able to get enough copper in his blood for the transfusions he would have had to have taken a substantial amount. There would not have been sufficient in the first aid kit. Why would he have more?"

"McCoy gave him a them."

"How many?"

"Spock,"

"Jim, how many did he take?"

"McCoy gave him a packet of thirty after he asked for them. Seems he always had extra when out with you."

The dark eyes remained closed but Kirk felt the hand in his grip slightly then relax as the eyes opened. "He took them all." It was a statement more than a question.

"Yes."

Spock's head seemed to sink back into the pillow as he let out a slow long breath and said in almost a whisper, "Far too many for a Human. He was killing himself to save me."

For a few moments the Vulcan just lay still with his eyes closed and yet Kirk felt the grip of his hand on his own and knew despite all the proclamations of not having any emotions that his friend had them and that the realization of what had taken place was upsetting him. "It has long been a scientific hypothesis that some humans could possibly use copper pills of significant strength to enable transfusion from iron blood to copper based but was never fully tested as it proved to be fatal to the humans who were used in the first trials. If memory serves it was found that even small transfusion resulted in both the donor and recipient dying and that was with **low** doses of copper. At the time of the first transfusion I was barely conscious, not fully aware of what was transpiring. After the first transfusion I felt different, I had some strength to fight to live. The second gave me more energy," Spock looked up at Kirk,"I was conscious enough to feel safe, to feel protected, and I entered a healing trance. I was unaware he had done more. If he had followed the regulations he would have left me but he clearly knows of Vulcan physiology." Just briefly the dark eyes closed then the Vulcan looked right at him and Kirk saw the emotions his friend showed only to him, "Jim, he never left me. I was never alone." For a moment Spock was quiet then he asked, "**Who, **who is with him now?" the dark eyes seemed to look deep into Kirk as he had not answered, "Jim, he isn't,"

"I saw Uhura and Scotty go along a few minutes ago. Sulu was there most of the night when Chekov was not with him. When I have left you one of them was with you. Harris was briefly alone while McCoy was dealing with other things but since then neither of you has been alone. Some of the other crew have come by to find out how both of you are as the bridge crew won't let anybody else near you two." Kirk took the hand again and patted it, "The bridge crew have slept in the corridors, couldn't get them to leave."

"I should be able to move tomorrow and l want to see him. Will McCoy allow that?"

"**First** I do not know if Bones will allow you to be mobile and **second** I do not think at the moment you should see him."

An eyebrow arched upwards, "Jim, **why would you say that**?"

"Because I know how you would react to seeing how he is."

**"**Jim, what are you** not saying?"**


	8. Chapter 8

"Only that you would see how totally helpless he is right now, you would see that even though he is medicated he is in pain, you would see how tubes are functioning largely as organs to help keep him alive, you would try to find some analytical reason why so many are used, and," Kirk took a deep breath and looked away for a moment then looked back at his friend and put his other hand on his friend's hand so it was between his and squeezed it, "you would feel somehow responsible for it all."

"Jim, **I am responsible** not for the attack on the craft but for what has happened to him as a result of the attack. I was the senior officer,"

"Who was the most disabled. Harris is Starfleet's top combined rescue and survival officer. His record,"

"I have read it, Jim. I have read it and nowhere in his file is there mention of him being medically trained beyond the basic first aid requirements, certainly not for blood transfusions. Nor was there any mention of him being what the medical people call duohemotats. There is mention of him having a bout of metallic-based blood poisoning while relieving for two years on a multi-species science station ten years ago. Upon mentally forming a time frame I believe I understand what happened during an attack on the station and why, although two of Vulcan's leading scientists were seriously injured, neither died. I recall reading a paper by one of them on duohemotats about five years after that and in it was mentioned the survival of copper based and iron based combinations being rare and of the difficulties the donor and only the donor faced. It stated that the transfusion recipients lived but the donor almost died because of seventy-five point eight percent vital organ collapse. The only logical conclusion is that he did then as he did for me. The fact that he was there for two years was an oddity as a relief rotation is usually only for one standard year." For a few seconds Spock closed his eyes then looked at Kirk, "Such an action then would be as the one with me, his instinct to protect and save other beings. I must see him, Jim. With it being to do with the Vulcan delegation all details would be kept on Vulcan and his identity kept secret. I will contact the Vulcan healer who wrote the paper should McCoy need assistance with his treatment. I must see him."

"As soon as McCoy says you can."

"Jim."

"No, not this time. You may think you have recovered but I want you to be fully rested for when we leave."

"When is that?"

"I believe we have five more days here. We might be given an extension."

Spock seemed to look puzzled and Kirk had to suppress a smile as he saw a questioning eyebrow raise, "Harris will not be ready,"

"Spock,"

"**I will not leave him here**, Jim."

"He will be in good hands. They have the best,"

"Do they have McCoy? Would McCoy stay with him?"

"Of course not."

"Then he will **not be in the best hands**. **I will not leave him**, Jim."

"You rest and I will go see what the arrangements are. That monitor still is not in the range Bones wants it in before he said he would declare you able to get up and out of here."

"You will come back and tell me about Harris?"

"Yes, and if you are sleeping I will wait."

"I will not be,"

"I can see you are so do not even try to tell me you are not tired. Rest."

After Jim Kirk had left Spock just lay on the bed, slowly putting the events into order. Although he had told his captain and friend most of that had happened, he had not told him how as soon as that panel had fallen and the explosive was revealed it had been Harris who knocked him out of the way. He had not told him of how he had seen Harris chew the tablets to ensure swifter release of the contents. Contents? All that copper into the human blood supply was toxic. Harris was no fool and would have known. He had also noticed a strange reluctance in Jim to talk about Harris. It was as though there was something he did not want to talk about regarding Harris. Before seeing him again Spock knew he would formulate the questions to find out what was, as Humans would say, eating away at him regarding Harris.

Even as Kirk walked away he realized he had not been honest with Spock. He had told him that he was not saying too much as he was sure the Vulcan would blame himself for what had happened when it was more than that. He had not told the whole truth as he did not was to admit it. He did not want to tell Spock about it.

It had taken McCoy some time to calm himself. He had not meant to flare at Jim Kirk the way he had but his friend was behaving oddly and there were other things bothering him he had not told Kirk about. He had been thankful that Kirk had not been with them when they had found Spock and Harris, pleased he only saw Spock in these surroundings and not what they had found him in. Even the photographs he had seen on medical practices in the early twenty-first century was little better than what Harris had arranged. They had found them because Harris was too stubborn to die, to even let go of the communicator. He had clung to it till Sulu had said that Skylark had sent them. Then getting them here and settled in. As a child he had read stories about birds of prey circling and picking at dead and dying carcasses and that was what he had found here after only leaving Harris alone for less than half an hour to find that people and equipment he wanted. He had come back to find nine so called doctors cutting into a patient who was clearly feeling the pain. Three he had physically pulled away from Harris before standing between Harris and the others with a laser scalpel in his hands and letting them know in no uncertain terms he would use it on anybody he found in with his patient.

He stood for a moment looking down at Harris, noting he was breathing better, that his natural coloring was returning. Carefully he placed his hand in Harris's forehead, "You just rest. You just rest and know that some way we will get you back to the Enterprise. I won't leave you to these, these creatures. You also need to know you are not fighting this alone."

From the doorway Kirk coughed and McCoy indicated the small office he had been assigned and pointed to a mug of coffee when Kirk walked in. "Let me guess. The stubborn hobgoblin will not leave without Harris and is taking all the blame for what happened?"

"You have spent too much time with him. Thanks." The coffee was what he needed. The cold feeling he had had was gone.

"I've filed that Spock will be leaving with the Enterprise as he will be fit enough and can finish recovering on the Enterprise. For about ten days he will be on limited duties but after that he should be back to normal."

"Harris?"

"You saw him, Jim. He might never be fit enough to get back on a starship. There is just far too much damage this time. If he had just given the blood it would have been bad enough but the exertion of dragging Spock compounded the effect of the copper on most of his organs. You will," McCoy stopped and looked at the table, toying with his empty cup, then took a deep breath and looked at Kirk with naked pain clearly on his face, "Jim, you most likely will have to sign him off the ship. I am afraid to leave him here and yet I know wherever else he goes he will, most likely, be treated the same. Just a body to provide samples, to do tests on. After all he has done. **Dammit**," McCoy slammed his open hand down on the table and shook his head, "I told him, I told him not to do anything fool-hearty."

"Bones?"

"Sorry about that, Jim." as Kirk watched he saw his friend and Chief Medical Officer pull himself together into his profession persona, "I will have the forms ready for you tomorrow." A wry smile crossed the face before him, "I believe you had some excitement with Chekov and Cassocks while we were away."

"You heard?"

"From the others and just about everyone around here. You've got a little hero there. Seems a lot who heard what was said wanted to do what he did."

"I know I wanted to do worse, I have been ordered to reprimand him for his actions."

"Oh, and how are you going to do that?"

"At the next planet where we have shore leave due I am assigning him extra leave time that will not be shown in his records."

The officer they had been talking about walked in, "You two need to eat. I vill be here. Nobody vill get near him I have not seen here before helping Doctor McCoy." Without waiting for a reply the young navigator moved a chair close to the bed and sat down where he could be at hand for Harris as well as stop anybody who may get past the Security officer.

"Well, Jim, guess we best go have a meal. I don't know about you but with the worst of this over with I could do with a good meal. I'll finish the report on Harris tomorrow after I see how he does tonight. Although I do not expect any major change tonight I just do not want to," blue eyes looked at him, seeming to look into him, "I do not want to sign the papers that will see him left in a place like this for who knows how long."

They went to the main dining room and had their meal. They talked about just about everything except Spock and Harris. They were drinking an after meal cup of coffee when McCoy looked at Kirk, "I take it you haven't Spock that Harris won't be going with the Enterprise?"


	9. Chapter 9

"He insists he will not leave Harris." Kirk kept looking in his nearly empty cup, "I'm sure it is a momentary thing as he is still in the process of accepting that this is the best place for Harris to be. It possibly is also a bit of his human side thinking of debt."

"He'd not be the only one thinking that, Jim. If Harris had followed procedure he should have left Spock and made contact from that cave. I think we both know that had it been almost any other officer with him Spock would have bled to death or frozen to death alone. You know the regulations and, forgetting them for a moment, the basic survival instinct." McCoy looked at Kirk, "You might just find a few other senior crew taking extended leave here when the Enterprise leaves. Know Scotty and Sulu have said they will stay with him. Chekov has said if they stay he will go to keep an eye on you two for Harris and Uhura said she would owe it to Harris to go wherever Spock went to make sure the transfusions did not harm him."

Kirk had looked at his Chief Medical Officer, he had not expected his bridge crew to almost mutiny like this although he knew they were all well overdue for leave but he knew it would not be a reflection of their need for some leave, "And you, Bones?"

"Jim, you must know I have had a mental battle over this. The Enterprise is where I belong but Harris is where, at the moment, my loyalty lies, both professionally and, more importantly, personally. Plus I will never get another chance to study what happened between them, the blood transfusion, and what that much copper really does to the human body. I also need to be here to make sure that nobody has him shipped to one of those special facilities where he truly would be little else but an experimental subject." McCoy put down his cup and looked steadily at Kirk, "If I am made to choose then I will stay with Harris, Jim. After what he did, after what he went through, is going through, I just cannot walk away from him."

"**You think I want to**?"

"You have not sent me the form I need you to sign to get him back on the ship."

"**Dammit! Because I never signed his official release from the ship!"** when a few of the other diners turned and looked at them Kirk realized he had raised his voice, "Sorry, Bones."

"Seeing him like you did was rough. Haven't seen you in with him much since then. Been told you stop by to see him but don't stay long. That you just look in but don't actually go in and talk to him."

"I," Kirk looked away as if trying to find an answer, feeling guilt for not actually spending any real time in with his officer, for an event that took place before they left the ship, and only looked back at his concerned Medical Officer when he felt a hand grip his wrist.

"They all know you were mostly with Spock and thought it good you at least checked on Harris. But I want to know what it is that has hit you this hard. **What's spooked you**? The Jim Kirk I know and am proud to call a friend would not be so quick to simply walk away from somebody who had done so much for him. The Captain Kirk I know and respect would fight to keep every member of his crew. There has to be **something major **suppressing that Jim Kirk though, for the life of me, I have no idea what,"

"I, I." pained eyes looked at McCoy as Kirk faced him, "Before they left I told Harris I needed to talk to him and we met away from everybody and I, I told him that I was against him taking Sulu's place as I considered Sulu was a much better pilot and that he better not do anything that would remotely jeopardize the craft. My gods, Bones, I told him if he did one thing, no matter how slight, that was against Starfleet rules and regulations** I would make sure he was never on a ship of any kind again**."

McCoy smiled, "How many times had we heard Sulu say that he was far superior to him when it came to flying the likes of shuttlecraft and small craft? How many times, when you look in his file, do you see what he has done with small craft? Things that even the designers had not known they could do: things that were improved on. We even heard him fighting to hold it steady. Even Spock said he was, for small craft, who he would prefer, that had it been a starship it would have to be Sulu. Then there are things he would have done that are contra to regulations for rescue and survival just to keep Spock alive. I think most just stopped reporting instances in his records of when he did fool things to save others. So you are right, what he did for and to Spock is totally against rules and regulations. You do not have to worry about him not being on another ship, though. Like I said before, you most likely will have to sign him off the shop, although I would not want to leave him here."

For a moment there was a comfortable silence as both men drank their coffee, each lost in their own thoughts. McCoy looked at Kirk and knew there was more. There was **something** there, something bothering his friend. No, McCoy looked at Kirk more intently, not bothering him. There was a shame about his friend; there was something he was crucifying himself for.

"It's not just that, thought, is it? There is something **really bothering you** about this whole thing. Mind sharing?"

"I have to see if Spock is up to confronting Officer Tuntor and pressing charges against him not only for himself but on behalf of Officer Harris as well." Kirk saw the flash of a smile cross his friend's face. "I will most likely need you there as medical testament as to his sanity."

"Oh, I would really like being there but," the blue eyes seemed to be looking into him, "Care to tell me **what you really are so afraid of**, Jim?"

"Nothing, Bones."

"Hey, this is me you're talking to. I know you, James Tiberius Kirk, even better than you know yourself at this minute and you are mentally running from something. You are afraid to go in and be with Harris for some reason and I want to know why. What is it about this whole thing that is so** frightening **to you?"

Kirk looked at his friend why was it he could not hide things from his two friends? Why was he so easily read by them?

"I'm dealing with it, Bones." He tried to smile out of it. "Nothing for you to,"

"**The hell you are!** You are avoiding it, running for it. Whatever it is it will not go away till you face it. Tell me, Jim. You know I will keep on you till you tell me what it is you are so afraid of about Harris, especially as helpless as he is. It cannot be that bad."

"Bad?" Kirk almost laughed, "**Bad**? The last thing I said to him was I would make his life **a living hell **if he hurt Spock in any way and look at him, Bones, just look at him and **tell me he isn't** **in some sort of hell**. I saw the pain registers. I've seen the muscular tremors he's had. I was there once when two of your technicians had to physically, bodily, hold him still as he fought the pain and against screaming out. Seeing him like that and knowing what I said how do I face him again? What do I say? Seeing him like that and knowing what I said, how I said it, knowing it was the last thing I said to him. How can I honestly face him again after that? How do I face a man going through what I said I would ensure he would go through the way I said it?"

Understanding was in the blue eyes looking back at him, "Don't you crucify yourself for this, Jim. **None of us knew**. Hell, do you have any idea how rare it is for a human to be able to do what he did and live, live this long? Sure, what he did to save Spock has him in a great deal of pain but it is nothing compared with that has happened to him here. Do you have any idea what it has been like fending off the piranha here who want to take samples and use him like some lab animal? You have no idea what I wanted to do when I saw where and the types of samples they had taken from him. They had cut into him like a piece of meat. They **didn't even give him local anesthetics**, just went in and took what they wanted. Just cut out what they wanted and did not even properly treated the wound they made. If I had had a phaser," McCoy took a deep breath and slowly let out it out. "And remember you still haven't signed him off the Enterprise."

"So this place reminds me. **They** keep telling me **I have to sign him off** but I just look at the form and **can't do it**. There are four medical personnel who seem very anxious for me to sign him off the ship and now I know exactly why they are so keen. But to keep him on the Enterprise I need **two doctors** to sign that he will impose no risk to the safety of the ship and that he will be able to return to active duty." Kirk looked into two blue eyes, "I do not want to leave him here. I've seen the medical specialists here stand and look in at him, I've heard them talk about him like a thing, I have the security detail her to ensure they do not get into the room, and I know how they are, as you said, eager to do tests on him because of what he did for Spock. I don't want to leave him here but **I need that second doctor** and you know that none of them,"

McCoy grinned, "You forgetting M'Benga? He has stayed on the Enterprise and has plans for how Harris's quarters could be modified for him as a total rehabilitation room. Nurse Chapel has told me that the full complement of the medical staff is waiting, even have a roster made up so he is never without a medical officer with him, and that the rest of the crew are waiting to find out what happens here before they work out a fully comprehensive rehabilitation roster for him." Kirk felt McCoy's hand on his shoulder, "As for the active duty, you weren't serious were you? The crew is set to do all they can to help him but we have to be prepared to help him adjust to a new reality as he **may never get back to full active duty**. You just better get him back on the ship, Jim, or you could be looking for a new crew."

For the first time since the crash Kirk felt a sense of ease, "Are you trying to tell me, Doctor McCoy, that if I were to leave him here I could be facing a mutiny?"

McCoy was grinning, "No could about it, Jim. **You would be** facing one. Starting with the senior bridge crew with both Uhura and myself leading."

"In that case, how long will it take you to have M'Benga over here? I'll go see Spock and Harris."

"That's good, Jim, but don't expect too much to have changed with Harris. When he is awake he is in an unimaginable amount of pain and he is only awake for short spells. Still connected to all the tubes except for the one we took from his mouth."

Spock's room was empty when he walked in.


	10. Chapter 10

Just for a moment on seeing the bed empty and the door to the small bathroom area open Kirk wondered what had happened then he saw Sulu and Scotty standing outside the door to the room Harris was in.

When he looked in McCoy was on one side of the bed and gave him a nod. Spock was sitting holding Harris's left hand and looking at him, "I will have to do further research into this similarity of the gliding methods between a condor and albatross. What was the other bird you mentioned with remarkable flight ability?"

"Humming. Skylark?"

"She is resting. If you like I will get,"

"No, she needs sleep. I hurt you."

"You need rest as well. You did not hurt me. I will do my research and return later."

"Thanks for,"

"You rest."

As Spock started to stand he saw Kirk and for a moment Kirk saw concern and self-loathing on his friend's face before the Vulcan facade was firmly back in place.

"Captain."

"I told you,"

"With all due respect, Sir, I had to see him. When Mister Scott and Mister Sulu came to see me they assisted me in getting here, under my orders. Doctor McCoy said I could talk with him as he could talk in short sentences and words. Lieutenant Uhura was pleased to see me and I insisted she get some rest as I believe she has hardly left him since our return."

"We'll be getting ye back to your room now, Mister Spock. Get ye back in your bed." Scotty stepped forward but Kirk blocked him.

"You two go get some rest. I will ensure Spock gets back into his bed."

"If I may I would like to sit with Darren a bit longer, Sir. He has become a bit restive when one of us is not here. Scotty was here with Uhura when I arrived."

Just for a moment Kirk looked at Spock, Sulu and Scotty. They were just part of his crew yet he knew they represented the feeling of the entire crew. "I'll get Spock back to bed, Sulu, you stay with Harris and you, Scotty, go get some sleep. I will come back later to sit with him while you get some sleep."

As they walked slowly to Spock's room Spock said, "That is all you have not been doing, isn't it, Jim? Not actually staying with him. You cannot blame him for what happened as without him I would be dead."

"I said a few things to him before you left that I am regretting. Things I said and how I said them."

Kirk saw an eyebrow rise, "I did see you talk with him and he just said it was words of advice. Are you saying it was more?"

"Knowing his reputation for taking risks when testing craft I told him if he did anything at all that was against rules and regulations I would see to it he was never on any ship again."

For a long time Spock was silent. "Now I understand the significance of what I faintly heard him say. He had said that Kirk would ground him. By doing what he did meant he did break rules and regulations. I may have been incorrect in how you were standing at the time but I had thought there was more."

"I, I also told him if he did anything to put your life at risk or harm you **I would make his life a living hell**. Just seeing him like that," Kirk looked away for a moment and closed his eyes. "I remember seeing him climbing out of the shuttle after the last refit Scotty did when Scotty was not too sure if it could handle a certain maneuver and he had pushed it more that even Scotty thought it could do. Seeing how he looked at Scotty and Scotty looked at him before he so casually did a forward standing somersault and was hugged by Scotty. He could have broken so many rules and regulations over all the time he was on the Enterprise that I am not fully aware of. But this, this time I am aware of what he did and why but he still broke,"

"What will happen to him with regard to that?" when Kirk remained quiet Spock reached out and lightly placed a hand on Kirk's shoulder, "Jim, had he not broken rules and regulations I would be dead and nobody would know it was not an accident. While I was talking with him I was deliberately being vague on some things to test his mental abilities although McCoy had said he was mentally not harmed by the accident or what he did for me I felt a strange need to confirm it for myself. I had to know his mental state for if he is charged with breaking any rules or regulations it could have been blamed on him not remembering them. Unfortunately that is not the case as I know of at least six rules and regulations he totally disregarded to save my life, but **I will not talk of them**." there was pain in the hazel eyes when they looked back at Spock.

For a few minutes the two just sat and gradually the Vulcan saw the pain leave his friend's face and the look of the Captain in command slowly replace it.

Spock gave a nod and very softly said, "Jim, you are his Captain, you must decide what to do. This decision will be more difficult than most for you as this time you must decide if, in this case, you are **a captain** of a starship **or a man who captains** a starship. "

Kirk was quiet for a moment then nodded back, "Once, once we are all back on the Enterprise I will have time to think about that." Kirk tried to smile knowing his friend truly did understand how difficult his role was, "I find it easier to think when I am in familiar surroundings and know all my crew are safe and aboard."

Spock raised an eyebrow, "You do realize that should you get him back on the Enterprise it will be more difficult for him to be transferred back to the medical facility?"

Kirk tilted his head as though not understanding the situation and grinned down at his friend, "And the problem with that is what?" He reached out and lightly touched his friend's face as he saw tiredness and guilt in the dark eyes that looked up at him. "You get some sleep. I'll be back in seven standard hours."

Outside the door to the room Harris was in Captain James T Kirk took a deep breath as he could see one of the station doctors in with McCoy and could tell from the way McCoy was standing that he was in a full-blown verbal battle for his patient. Sulu walked over to him and said, "They ordered me to leave, twice. I, Doctor McCoy gave me that look so I left him, Sir, I should not have,"

"If McCoy gave you the look then leaving was the best thing to do. Go get some sleep and I do not want to make it an order."

"You'll,"

"I'll be in there with him."

As soon as he entered the room he could feel the tension as the two men looked at him. "Gentlemen, I will admit that I am just a starship captain and know nothing about medicine but is arguing in the presence of the patient best for the patient?"

"Doctor McCoy has **it** sedated so much **it** would not know what,"

Kirk looked at how Harris was laying on the bed and noticed he seemed to be leaning slightly away from them, had his head turned away from them. A part of him riled at how the doctor had referred to his crewman as "it". He pointed to the door and just said, "Both of you out and away from my officer, now."

Kirk's action caught both of the doctors by surprise as Kirk had hoped it would and when they were outside the room he looked at McCoy, "Well?"


	11. Chapter 11

Before McCoy answer the other doctor said, "I am Doctor Harold Gans, I am in charge of this medical facility. Doctor McCoy was just explaining how he intends to take that officer back to the Enterprise. ** It** needs to be monitored more, needs to be,"

"That officer is a member of my crew. He has a name, Darren Harris," Kirk looked at the doctor and saw he was taken aback by such a direct attack, "I suggest you use his name or refer to him as the patient as he is not a thing but a sentient being."

"**Go on, say it**. Tell Captain Kirk **the real reason** you want him here." McCoy, as Kirk could tell, was only just controlling himself, "You want to keep him here **to study him** because of how he saved Spock. To you and your group what he wants is immaterial, what is best for him is unimportant when compared to your egotistical need to study him. You want to study him so that you can, no doubt, write a paper about it and then how many others will want to study him but will have to have your approval? I may have been around a fellow officer too much for too long but I can categorically say that your logic is highly flawed and your actions most irrational. You have forgotten what being a doctor is all about. **Officer Darren Harris is my patient and I'll be damned if I will leave him here**. A medical evacuation team is at the ready on the Enterprise."

"I am sure that you will find that Captain Kirk has the wisdom to have it signed off the ship and into our care. We have the specialized staff to monitor** it** all the time, your staff are not skilled enough to gather the proper data needed."

**"Hear that Jim? Gather data? That is my patient in there, not some experiment!**"

"More importantly, Doctor Gans, **that man is a crew member of my ship**. Now **my crew may not know how to gather data** or even properly monitor him all the time, but **you will not find a better group of beings when it comes to taking care of its own**. I have been informed that the complete complement of the ship has made enquires about how they can help with his treatment. Surely you have seen some of them down here?"

"I have seen large groups and small groups from your ship here." The doctor looked accusingly at him, "They stayed outside its room longer than you have at any one time. You **expect me to believe** that all those times you came in and spent a fair amount of time visiting your First Officer but **only looked in on it**, not even going into the room with it, **you were arranging for the special medical facilities aboard the Enterprise for its** return?"

"I have to tell you, Doctor Gans," Kirk fought to control his frustration at the man and understood why McCoy was so riled, "I have, in fact, come to talk with Doctor McCoy about the arrangements I have made for **Officer Harris's return to the Enterprise**. He is the fleet's best officer in survival skills and, consequently, is an important member of my crew. Mister Scott, my Chief Engineer, has visited him often and has been seeing to the modifications necessary for his return to the Enterprise. **I have not signed him off the ship and have no intention of doing so.**"

"With all due respect, Captain, I do not believe you understand **what we could learn from it.** You have no idea of how rare what it can do is. We may never again to actually see the changes the body undergoes as the blood changes. You have,"

"I do not know what this it you keep referring to is. What I know, Doctor, is that the officer from my ship who is in that room will, as soon as Doctor McCoy says he can be moved, be returned to his ship." For the first time Kirk turned and looked at McCoy, "And you are responsible for ensuring he passes a physical in a year's time."

"**I will stop this**. **The base commander outranks you**, Captain and he will,"

"Want to hear that **you** want to use Starfleet's **best survival instruction officer** as nothing more than **an experiment** when he could be passing on his extensive knowledge to the crew who would, in turn, pass it on to others. I am sure the base commander would be interested in **why you** want to keep an officer with **his rare skills and abilities** here in a medical facility when he could be on a starship pass**ing on his knowledge** and **instructing other officers** as well as on hand for any emergency." Kirkk looked at the man, "Well, contact him. Get him here and we will see what his thoughts are."

"I never said that. **It** just is too valuable to,"

"To have more tests, unnecessary tests, done on **him**. To be thought of and treated as little more than something to experiment on or something to supply you with material for experiments as is clearly indicated by you refusal to refer to him as anything but an it. You did state that you wanted to see the changes his body undergoes as it changes his blood and in order to do so would require him to repeat what he did to save Mister Spock. Officer Harris is in there like that because of those changes. In order for you to fully study the changes you would have to wait till he recovers and then have him endure it **over and over again**. He is in a version of hell none of us can imagine and I will not, and I doubt if the base commander will once he knows your real reasons, allow it to be sustained or repeated many times just for your knowledge. You," Only McCoy's cough stopped him for a moment and he took a deep breath and nodded at his friend and Chief Medical Officer then looked back at Doctor Gans, "you are quite correct when you say he is too valuable, especially to the smooth running of my ship."

"You do realize that **it will never pass a physical fitness evaluation again**? It is really now only of use to us. You have to know that you need physically fit personnel on a star ship and it will never be physically fit again. Why not leave it where it will be of far more use?"

"I am," only McCoy's hand on his arm halted him as he started forward and Kirk glared at the man before him for a moment in silence. "I am glad you said that. You just stated he would be used. **Used**. On my ship he will be **of use** as well, passing on his knowledge to the others. **Of use, sir, not used**. He might only be able to pass the physical **at bare minimum** but for your survival on some of the places we go you have to know what to look for, what to avoid, you have to be able to not only react physically but be mentally alert enough to know how to react. He can pass on that knowledge, knowledge gained over more encounters than I care to think about. On a starship we need **intelligent minds **as well as** fit bodies**. We prefer them to be in one body but allowances are made for those who show **exceptional knowledge**, such as **he has**, when it comes to physical requirements. While he **may** never again have a thoroughly fit body he has an intelligent mind that has been further honed by years of experience under conditions many of us may never have to face. **His knowledge** of survival skills i**s not in any manual nor Academy training** yet it is Starfleet's most comprehensive and most hard learned."

"That might be true, Captain Kirk, but this may be **our only chance** of studying such a thing. **A living thing** that can function with both iron based and copper based blood." The doctor looked at him, "**It will never be fit enough to go on a landing party** so that severely limits its use, Captain. It would be of **more use to us here**."

"**Like hell!"** McCoy took a step forward and only stopped when Kirk touched his arm, "That **living thing** is an officer who has been on the ship when we have had crew on a planet in trouble and he told them what to do to get out of it. We have seen **him** do that a number of times, working with Spock and Scotty and sometimes even the Captain, when, by the book and even Spock's logic, there was not way to save the crew." McCoy looked at the other doctor and Kirk could almost read McCoy's mind as he remembered a few of those times only too well. "He just got the details from them and thought on it and asked more questions about what they detected with **their own senses**, how they reacted to things, and told them not to rely on the technology but to do as he said and we got them back."

"Ahhh yes, one of the other doctors commented on how there was a reaction when they took some deep tissue samples. I have made a note to test my theory on it. We need to test the other senses and if it can fully differentiate the sensations. There had been some dermal and slight physical reaction from it when we started taking samples from it and we need to see the differences between it is functioning on copper blood as opposed to an . . ,"

The look Kirk gave him silenced the man as did how Kirk raised one open hand close to his face as he pulled out his communicator with the other hand and almost spat out, "**Kirk to Enterprise**." just looking at him McCoy knew his friend and Captain was only just maintaining control of his feelings. There was no escaping the meaning in the look he was giving to doctor or the barely controlled fury in his voice. It was obvious that the doctor had never confronted anybody with that thousand yard battle stare that Kirk had, that look that let you know he was primed and ready.

"Enterprise here, Captain."

"Uhura, Scotty's there?" McCoy realized then just how tightly his friend was holding back his anger. Not to ask for Mister Scott and the way he asked as more of a statement than a question was evidence enough for him.

"Aye, Sir. I'm right here. Now I know ye send me here to sleep but,"

"**Get down here** immediately with a medical team to take Officer Harris back to the Enterprise."

"On my way, tis good news ye got permission."

"I'll get it later, Scotty. I'm not leaving him with **these butchers**."

"Sir?"


	12. Chapter 12

"**Just get down here, now,** with that team and **get him back to the ship**. McCoy has them standing by. Kirk out."

"Captain Kirk, you have to follow procedures to get,"

"You better believe **I am following procedures**, Mister! I am following procedures for getting a member of my crew out of dangerous or hostile environments where I am in fear of their safety or well-being. I am taking my officer back to my ship with my Chief Medical Officer and the rest of my crew. I am removing my officer from **what has proven to be a life threatening environment for him**. I am ensuring the safety of my officer by returning him to the ship. As his commanding officer and responsible for his well-being** I have grave fears for his safety if left here**. There is, as far as I understand the situation, no need for him to be here as **he needs only standard care as is available in my ship**."

The four members of the medical evacuation crew arrived and all McCoy had to do was point at where Officer Harris lay and say, "Bed Two in SickBay. I will be right up with the Captain." before they quickly had Officer Harris on his way back to the ship.

When theyt had gone the doctor glared at McCoy and then at Kirk, "But** it** is such a medical and scientific rarity. **It** needs to be studied further."

**"No!" **from behind him Kirk heard a beloved baritone voice and saw a smile flash across McCoy's face after a momentary, but Kirk knew it would have been very thorough, analytical head-to-toe look at the Vulcan,"Officer Darren Harris needs only the care and attention of a **real doctor**, and on the Enterprise he has the care and attention of the **best doctor in the Federation**, Doctor Leonard McCoy. From what I have heard is that here he would only be **used** by an egotistical, narcissistic, sadist that is clearly attempting to **masquerade as a doctor** who is clearly too unaware of the requirements of a true and honorable scientific study to be even called **a novice student of science**."

"If you are referring to me, I can assure you **I am a doctor**. For you,"

"You may have the title of being a medical doctor but **your actions testify to the fact that you are not** for all Federation doctors must take an oath to **do no harm**. Your highly unethical actions have caused Officer Harris both extreme physical and mental harm which indicate that either you are no doctor or that an oath means nothing to you."

"I only did so **in the name of science**. It is such a unique case. By studying** it**,"

"You also keep showing a total disregard for life by referring to Officer Harris as an innate object." Momentarily Spock looked at him and Kirk could see his friend was slowly building up to something, was leading slowly to verbally crushing the man then focused back on the man facing the three of them. "If I am correct in assuming that you are referring to studying the changes in Officer Harris's body as a result of his actions you are failing to completely study the impact such changes make as you would also be studying the impact what the transfer of such blood was having on the recipient and you were not."

Now the doctor looked stunned as though he had not thought of it and Kirk felt a momentary rush of triumph as he looked at the man and saw the doubt in him. "Are you saying that you experienced reactions to the transfusions?"

"Had you asked at the time you would have been told, now you will not. Doctor McCoy knows and, as he professionally and passionately honors doctor patient confidentiality, I am certain he will not share the reactions."

The man turned from Spock to look pleadingly at McCoy, "I had not thought of the recipient and must know of his reactins for my studies."

For a moment McCoy rocked on his heels as he silently looked at the being before him, seeing how Spock was right in the man not being fit to be called a doctor nor a scientist. As he looked at the man he could see the man's silent plea, could see how the man would most certainly always wonder about the recipient Officer Harris's blood. It would be like an itch the man could not scratch and any papers he had written would be of no use without the details which would have a ripple effect on his career and future. "I not only swore an oath to **do no harm** but also do not to disclose any information learned from or about a patient without their permission. As Mister Spock has made it clear he does not want me to share what I know about his reaction to the transfusion I shall honor his privacy."

"Then, then the recipient did have reactions?" The man looked at Spock, "You did have reactions to what,"

* * *

A/n Would sure like to believe akin to the Hippocratic Oath is still around for McCoy as it has had a few changes since 5BC with last noted changes in the 1960's. . .


	13. Chapter 13

Kirk looked quickly at McCoy and saw how he, too, had been surprised at how Spock had just turned and walked out of the room leaving Doctor Gans clearly stunned by the abrupt ending. Following the Vulcan's lead McCoy left and Kirk followed him. There was no doubt in Kirk's mind that Doctor Gans was realizing just what the exposure to what he, and a few others, had been doing. No doubt that the man realized that while the others had stopped he had kept using Harris as an experiment and now knew that all he had done, all his dreams of medical and scientific glory were gone. The man knew that once it was known what he had done his career would be ruined; all his work would be re-examined. Kirk had seen the knowing look on Spock's face as he had spoken to Gans and had seen how his friend knew what his words were doing to the man and it was clear that, at some level the Vulcan would possibly never admit to, it had givenhim great satisfaction.

Once they were walking down the hall McCoy got out his scanner and took readings on Spock, all within the range he liked to see. "I believe you will find that I am quite well, Doctor. I would appreciate getting the matters that must be dealt with done so that we can return to the Enterprise."

Kirk studied his friend for a moment, "You feel up to pressing charges against Officer Tuntor?"

For a moment Spock looked at him and Kirk could tell his Vulcan friend was trying to place the name then say just the hint of a smile, "Ahhh, Mister Chekov's Cossack. The officer mainly responsible for the incident. I will speak for Darren Harris as well as for myself as I believe I understand his thoughts about what was done to the craft and to us." An eyebrow slightly raised, "For such an action is Mister Chekov to be reprimanded as is procedure?"

"I will be following procedure and reprimanding him at the next planet we have a rest and recreation period on by extending his time off the ship." Kirk saw Spock nod. "Now, shall we go and get this over with and back to the ship?"

There was no possible way of missing the stunned surprise on Officer Tuntor's face when they entered the briefing room he was in with security and senior Starfleet officers to officiate. "The reports were that you were close to death but there does not seem to be even a scratch on you. You should have been killed. He must have placed it wrong. It should have blown you,"

"Your explosive was most effective, it was the execution of its placement and the verification of the security of the placement that caused you plan to fail. Had it been securely positioned it would not have been exposed when we landed rather heavily and given Officer Harris those milliseconds that he needed to react."

"It should have exploded on impact. There was less than,"

"Three point eight one seconds after we impacted with the surface there was the explosion. A panel covering it dropped, Officer Harris saw the danger and knocked me clear."

A slight smile touched Tuntor's lips. "Knocked you clear? So at least he got caught in the blast. In a way that is almost as good as I know how Vulcans are reputed to feel what passes for guilt for them about being the cause of another's death. So you will always have some sort of weight of responsibility on you for the rest of your life for being the cause of his death. It will always haunt you. It will,"

"I will admit to experiencing some unusual concern about his well-being until I knew he was under the care of Doctor McCoy."

"Under the care of? What do you mean? We heard him in the communicator. He was getting you help but dying. We, we heard that they thought you were most likely going to survive but that he was all but dead. If he shielded you from the blast then his injuries are,"

"His action knocked both of us clear. He did sustain some injuries for metal shards and his subsequent actions were life-threatening but he will recover. I have spoken with him and he does not hold any animosity towards me and has told me that his actions were his own and that he would ask to be charged with assaulting a senior officer should I not accept it as his responsibility to protect and serve."

Tuntor's face reflected the defeat in his voice, "And being a **First Officer you expect and accept** the reality that there are **other officers who are trained to sacrifice themselves for you**. They are conditioned not to think of you but of **your rank**. RHIP. You are so lucky, if only you knew that much."

"I know, Officer Tuntor, only too well how fortunate I am to be First Officer on the Enterprise, but **I do not**, **nor should any senior officer**, **expect and** **accept** that **other officers** would willingly **sacrifice themselves for me** merely **because of rank**. What Officer Harris did reflected the character of the man and how he places the welfare of others above his own: a product of the trio of his nature, nurture, and training." For a moment Spock was silent and just looked at Tuntor before slowly shaking his head in a most human gesture, "Rank may, for some, have its privileges but it also has its pressures and principles. The expecting, let alone the accepting, of the death of another to preserve one's own life simply because they are of a different rank or species is both repugnant and abhorrent. Such thinking is reflective of a person with a severe mental imbalance."

That said Spock turned and looked at the three Starfleet representatives present, "Sirs, I have authority to speak on Officer Darren Harris, as Doctor McCoy will attest to, and we both agree that Officer Warren Tuntor did, in fact, intend to kill us. We did not know nor have any prior knowledge of Officer Tuntor and his actions indicate that Officer Tuntor's actions were meant to kill me and that he did not think of Officer Harris nor of any other officer who might have been with me. He clearly needs care in a facility that specializes in those with delusions as extreme as his. If you will excuse us, we need to return to the Enterprise in preparation for our next assignment."

"Captain Kirk," one of the representatives looked from Spock to Kirk, "Officer Harris has not been signed back onto the Enterprise."

Kirk looked at the man, "There was no need to sign him back onto the Enterprise when he was never signed off the ship, Sir. As I did not receive all the forms necessary to complete a discharge from the ship he was not signed off and Doctor McCoy has started an extensive and non-invasive study of what you are not referring to."

"What, exactly, do you mean by non-invasive? Are you suggesting that any of our doctors would have used invasive methods to,"

"What I suggest, Sir, is that you ask your Doctor Gans how they were getting the samples from Officer Harris that they were getting. I will have Doctor McCoy send you his reports so that you can see what I mean by non-invasive."

There was an exchange of looks amongst the three representatives and it was obvious that Doctor Gans was known to them. "As Mister Spock stated, Captain, you should get back to the Enterprise and see that it and the crew compliment is ready for your next assignment. You can be assured we will see Doctor Gans and we will also read through the comprehensive report that Mister Spock wrote on the craft."

More relaxed than he had been in some time Kirk walked with Spock to the transport area only to have that unease surround him again when McCoy met them.

Spock stood still for a moment and just looked at McCoy, "Harris?"

"Some sort of relapse. He's, he's, well let's get down there and you'll see."

When they arrived at the special room McCoy had Harris in Spock slowly walked up to the bed and looked down at the officer. This clearly was no relapse.


	14. Chapter 14

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Only to himself did Spock admit emotional conflict as he looked at the form on the bed. He was aware of Kirk and McCoy talking about all the possible causes for a relapse but this was no relapse. This was no reaction to the tablets. This was not a reaction to any medical treatment from McCoy. This was a reaction to his confusion as to where he was.

The eye movement, the body's rigidity, the breathing. Officer Harris was trapped in his terror of uncertainty. The room he had been in was familiar, this was not.

"Officer Harris, this is Spock. Do you recognize me?"

Both Kirk and McCoy stopped talking and looked at Spock then at Officer Harris.

Officer Harris looked at Spock, "Yes, Sir. Mister Spock, First Officer of the Enterprise."

"Close your eyes and tell me what you hear."

As Harris closed his eyes Spock took the medical scanner from McCoy and briefly turned it on.

"The whirring of a scanner or tricorder."

"Which is it, Officer Harris? There is a difference."

After a moment of the only sound being the medical scanner Spock again briefly turned on, Harris nodded, "A scanner, Sir."

"Were you aware of any sound before that?"

"Soft male voices."

"Were they familiar?"

"Yes, but I cannot be exact but I know I have heard them on the ship."

Kirk saw a faint smile on McCoy's face before he turned and walked to a table, picked up a small container and walked towards the bed with it, pausing only for a moment for Spock to look at it and nod, before momentarily holding it close to Harris's face.

"Are there any aromas?'

"For a moment it was like strong antiseptic but now faint."

Dark eyes look at him and Kirk watched Spock clasp his hands together then indicate Harris. His senses. Kirk nodded. Spock was using Harris's senses the way Harris used the senses of those he saved. Carefully he took one of Harris's hands in his and held it.

"What are you feeling?"

The fingers of the hand in his at first just gently brushed his hand then tightened a hold on it and when Kirk almost instinctively gave a reassuring grip back he felt the fingers tighten around his hand almost in fear.

"A strong hand. Not yours, fingers shorter but as strong."

"Do you now know where you are and how is here by using just your senses and not your sight which feeds your human emotions?"

"Home, on the Enterprise in Sickbay."

"Good, now open your eyes."

Kirk released Officer Harris's hand as McCoy walked up to the bed to stand beside Spock. There was full awareness on Officer Harris's face as he looked at them finally looking just at Spock, "Sir?"

"You have proven to yourself that which you have so often have proven to others under far more testing situations. The practicality of it has had the same effect on you as it has on the others. By asking your other senses to fulfill their function unencumbered by visual input you controlled your emotions and were able to come to a logical conclusion. You are, indeed, on the Enterprise and under Doctor McCoy's care. The Captain and I will await your return to duty while Doctor McCoy assists you in your recovery."

For a moment Kirk was aware of a silent conversation taking place as Spock looked at Harris and finally Harris said, "There is that possibility that I will not be able to remain on the ship. You must know it was my decision made knowing the possible outcomes of my actions."

"Just as you took charge of my life down there should you be taken from the ship I will ensure that you go to a place where those in charge will not cause you any further pain or stress. My family on,"

Harris smiled at Spock, "Vulcan was nice but think I would prefer some other place where emotions are not frowned upon yet also not allowed to be out of the control of the being."

All saw the eyebrow raise, "Then my family, our family, here on the Enterprise will ensure you are not taken from this ship unless directly ordered to by the highest officials and then only if we are the ones to decide where you will go."

Harris again smiled, "Acceptable." He closed his eyes, "Just so damned tired."

"It will take some time for your systems to recover. We will let you rest and I will come back shortly."

"Only of Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy say it is okay for you to take the time and I am allowed visitors."

"Agreed."

McCoy nodded to the door and Spock and Kirk followed him. "He'll sleep a few hours now without medication. I will do a total check over of him when he is next fully awake and set for the physical testing,"

"He is not ready, Doctor, for,"

"If I may finished, **Doctor** Spock, I was about to say for the physical testing I believe he is capable of at this time. I have a regime of gradual improvement tests geared for him. As long as he hits the target range each time I will be able to classify him as fit to be aboard." Blue eyes locked with dark eyes, "He will be ready for the first testing and I would expect you present."

"My apologies, Doctor. I will be there."

"And so will I." Kirk looked from Spock to McCoy, "Officer Harris is a member of my crew and I believe my Chief Medical Officer is about to instigate a special fitness regime for that crew member which has not been cleared by me."

"Right now I think we all need a cup of coffee and a few moments to regroup."

"I will join you gentlemen shortly. I need to go to my quarters first."

Knowing that often Spock would have the need for moments alone Kirk and McCoy headed to the rec room and were just sitting down with their coffee when Spock arrived carrying a small bottle. As he poured some of the liquid from the bottle into Kirk's and McCoy's coffee he gave them a rare smile, "I believe you gentlemen will find that this adds to the sensual experience of your drinks through smell and taste."

Both McCoy and Kirk smiled as they sipped their coffee, smelling a familiar aroma, feeling its smoothness, and the taste adding to the sensation of sipping on the coffee.

"Why you cunning little,"

"Reason, Spock?"

The Vulcan looked at them for a moment, "As our minds have been dealing with what to do with Officer Harris it seemed only logical that you let your senses have a different experience while contemplating how he uses his."

McCoy raised his glass and looked first at Spock then at Kirk, "To Officer Harris and his obsession about senses."

"To asking more of our own senses." Kirk raised his cup.

"To asking and, more importantly, taking the time to **listen** to the answers from **all** of our senses." Spock raised his cup of Vulcan tea.

* * *

_**A/N Okay that's that one done. Now is a busy time with haymaking, lambing, the vegetable garden, berry patch, and orchard going into overdrive with produce production, and trying to butcher a side of beef: not to forget the medical adventure. Will be back with more stories after the New Year unless I can grab a few minutes between Boxing Cay and New Year's races (horse racing at the local track – more of an early summer picnic day than hard-cord gambling – very much a family-friendly place). Hope you all enjoyed this and **_**have a fantastic holiday period and may 2014 be the best year yet for you and yours.**__


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